since i get know.. how that world looks like... it start to be killing me... slowly deep inside me... heart broken matter, friendship thing, scandal shit, financial needed, working for a life, entertainment for survive, love to have and keep... so mess and completely out of my control...
lately i have bad luck in relationship... ut have been 2 almost 3 years single... and s trying hard to fine the right one... just fit to me...internal an external... not sure until when will stuck in this bad luck....
friendship... huh... sometime seem it the other reason why i still standing here but sometime... need to be more cool to control internal and external emotion around me... try my best... not to hurt other people... somehow still need to deal and manage everything... try my best to makes other happy more than i have for
my own self...
sometime... just wanna cry... it hard to dealing with internal and external emotion... i'm just try my hard to keep everything fine... to control situation... to manage what supposed to feel... sometime i broke my own feeling... my own desired and needed... just to ensure no one hurt by me....
i be my own hero...
and others hero...
i just live what i have... color up them to be part of mine...
broken heart,
JD
