sesuatu yang lebih indah...

lately nie byk btul bnda jadi....
tapi banyak pengajaran yang aku dapat...
aku jadi lebih kuat and banyak besabar....
credit to aliza shah sebab wat aku bukak mata tentang banyak benda...

bak kata owang... sabar tu separuh dari iman...
per yang jadi sangat menguji dan mengajar aku...:
untuk kenal mana satu kawan and mana satu lawan....
mana satu lebih layak untuk aku sayang..:

aku harap sume nie dah berakhir.....
semoga kebenaranya.... nanti membuka mata owang laen ...
untuk tahu mana satu intan permata and mana satu kaca berduri...

aku tak sempurna...
tp owang2 disekeliling aku membuatkan hidup aku cukup sempuna...
warna warni hidup aku....
mereka corak kan....
mereka warnakan....

aku bersyukur....
kerana mereka sentiasa disana untuk aku...

thanks guys,

holiday holiday holiday

There are my holiday schedule 2012/2013

15 December - 18 December 2012
- Brand Outlet Mall, Johor
- Legoland Malaysia, Johor
- Universal Studio, Singapore

End of January 2013 (on progression)
- Kuantan, Pahang

Mid of June 2013 (still planing)
- Bangkok, Thailand

Mid September 2013 (ticket booked)
- Bandung, Indonesia

*Mai2 sape2 mau tempah aku p holiday masih der bulan2 yg kosong. but still see on my budget lar hehhewhhe

that it.... sick with them

today is 2nd day i'm ignoring them.
if they love me at least concern about me, they will find me soon or later on.
i'am very sick with all the game they played.

i think this is the best tyme and way to let them go.
semoga der sinar baru utk aku dan mereka jugak.

bukan aku tak cinta
bukan aku tak sayang
bukan aku x cuba
cuma aku tak mampu utk bertahan.

love them forever more.

Derita Merindu

Lirik Lagu Derita Merindu - Ahli Fiqir

L
Kau katakan cinta gunakan akal
Bila aku gunakan, kau yang menyangkal
Bagaimana nak kekal
Kau katakan cinta gunakan minda
Bila aku gunakan
Kau yang tak percaya… bagaimana nak bahagia

P
Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

L
Dan aku cuba sedaya upaya
Telah ku usaha dengan sepenuh jiwa
Bagaimana hendak ku lupa
bayangan wajahmu selalu di depan mata
harum baumu masih dapat ku hidu
Bagaimana ingin aku membencimu
Jikalau setiap hari merindu
Sekiranya derita merinduimu itu sebenarnya bahagia..
Aku pilih derita..

P
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa
Mungkinkah esok atau lusa walau biarpun lama
Akan ku biar tiada, ku tetap kan setia
Entah bila akan tiba sampai jua harimu yang sama
Esok seperti semalaman yang tak berubah
Kaulah tanda tanya… kau tiada titik noktah
Ku dibuai mimpi lena dikejut igau semula
Kaulah tanda tanya… kau tiada titik noktah
Ku dibuai mimpi lena dikejut igau semula

L
Seandainya kau berada di depan mata
Mudah untuk aku berkata-kata
Supaya dapatku melihat seraut wajahmu
Walaupun belum tentu kau mahu bertemu
Apalagi memandangku
Setelah ku turutkan segala kemahuan kau mainkan perasaan
Begitu mudah kau ucapkan terimalah saja kenyataan…
Aku masih terkilan

P
Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

L
Jika kau dapat memahami hati seorang perindu
Baru kau tahu derita hatiku
Jika suatu hari nanti giliran kau merindu
Baru kau ingat derita diriku
Segala yang berlaku bukan kemahuanku
Apa gunanya bahgia
Jikalau bahagia bersamamu hanyalah untuk sementara waktu
Aku pilih derita merinduimu

P
Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

you and me never been together

how sad be me?!
i always know that i never been with you.
but what?!!
i still keep remember and loving you.
even for a while, you mean lot to me.

my little sis say,
kak cik der owang nak kat ko ko tak nak.
how can i said??!!!
some that want me, i don't want. i try my best to be with but still cannot make it.

what i want now is NA and NJ.
only them can make my heart "berbunga2 indah".
no one can understands
no one can feel what i feel now

NA keep rejecting me.
NJ going far far away from me since that things happen.
now i just realize that NA and NJ never be mine and we never be together.

only my close junior and little sis knows.
how bad being me?!!!!
keep looking for something i know not belong to me.
love and what i feeling, i'm not forcing them to.
it just come, just like that "tick".

sowie for loving both, NA and NJ.
both of you stole my heart.
i just hope u keep hold me.
but!!!
it is impossible.

what should i do now?
just keep loving them.
as i did now.

for them,
thanks cos tibe2 muncul,
and wat i rsa something evry special toward it.
i keep my word, keep going love u and never left u.
thanks thank and thank

you and me never been together.
tulang rusuk both of you tak matching dgn tulang i.

NJ muncul & meninggalkan kesan

aku masih memburu NA. tak penah penat, keep trying and trying event kene reject kau2 puyer hahahha that how i love NA.

dalam perjalan menawan hati NA, tibe muncul NJ yang junior yang xpernah bertegur sapa. tibe2 menjadi satu rutin setiap hari bercakap dan whatsaap. lebih kurang mcm partner dh lar.

pada mulanya tidak terselit apa2 niat or perasaan. cuma banyak gurauan yang menyatakan aku minat kat die tapi bukan niat. lama kelamaan, hari ke hari, aku semakin rasa yang aku takut kehilangan die. glabah bapak bile die merajuk. i didn't notice with what i feel.

one of my junior said mybe i into NJ. but i denial it. just said NJ is my froend and NJ is my junior not more than that.

suddenly, something happen between us, me and NJ. last 2 days. make me notice that i have small part of feeling toward NJ. just being disappointed with what happen. xsangka NJ macam tuu. die leh jujut dengan aku. tak perlu owang laen yg sampaikan pada aku.

that tyme tengah sakit, mood swing than tau pasal that thing mmg swing abis. just kesal dengan per yang jadi. baru nak baek dengan die. baru nak rapat. baru nak rasa i own this world but suddenly it happen.

agak sedih and down but tak setruk ble aku down psl NA. but NJ still get touch my heart. die sentuh ati aku walaupun hanya seketika.

walaupun NA tetap dihati aku, tp NJ telah berjaya mencuri sedikit ruang hati aku untuk die. and now u hurt it

to NJ,

thanks for everything, sowie for my bad and mistake. i'm not realize that you and me will be not together. arap NJ bertemu dengan owang yang baek and sempurna.

thanks penah wat i feel i own this world. and thanks for the thing that me us like that. gud luck and i always love you.

suddenly falling in love.

for so many years i spending my life loving my ex. suddenly i falling in love once again with someone i just meet that night. i falling in love, jatuh cinta pandang pertama.

maybe you never realise or maybe ignore the thing i do to know you deeper. i just realise love not that easy. every tyme i try to make it happen you nicely rejecting me. thanks. but please give me some chance to get close with you.

for so many tyme not in this situation, falling in love, every thing seem so exciting for me. every thing look like i want be the best for you. but i still don't get any opportunity to prove it that i really serious and looking forward for next step.

i just need your gud respond, some sign that i have that chance to hold you. you look like playing something with me. sometime you hold me close to you than u let me go far away from you. you make me crazy. i'm crazy on you.

every tyme i'm asking you out you rejecting me but nicely lar. i'm offering you to pick up you home or sending you to work you still rejecting me. i don't have any chance and tyme to talk and be close with you. i just want lnow u deeply. i want takecare and loving u as much as i can, as long as i can be.

i never be like this. i damnly want you to be mine. give a chance to prove that you deserve me and i deserve to be with you. and what we have is worth it.

tonight, i'm just crying. deep inside me know that i don't have that chance. i'm crying because u never give me a chance to prove my self. i'm just know that u never be mine. i'm just weak to through all of this feeling.

thanks for who helping me. thank you so much. i really appreciate it. i'm not giving up but i let tyme tell me something. sowie cos falling in love with you.

the weak one,
me......

love to be single

rsanya since break dgn si die i think single is better but still merindu rindu lar. other than everything seem so good.

tak der hati nak kne jga
tak der bnda nk kecik hati
tak der bnda nk di rajukkan
tak der bnda nk kne pk sgt
tak der wet nk kne kuar byk slaen utk dri sndri
tak der bnda nk digadohkan
tak bnda yg sensitif
tak der bnda nk ingt mcm anniversary, birthday, date dating
tak der bnda nk plan
tak der bnda merutum jiwa
tak der bnda nk kecewa
tak der bnda nk diletihkan

my life now, myself and family.
better better and better
der hikmah kenapa jadi sume bnda nie
mungkin saat aku kerinduan tuu wat aku lebih mnghargai die, walaupn die dh xder.

yg penting, single life is better
if der someone yg nk, just try to pen back my heart. can deal maaaa...
so single is fine

m m y & m a

this is the alphabets for describe you and me.
never done with loving, missing you.
that something i can't tell the world about us.
how important you?
how much love?
i just hope you're here, hold my hand, accompany me.
i just hope you never left me.
just hope u never hate me like this.
that my hope.... only hope.
i try to searching another love.
but it never exist, only for you.
when i miss you, try to look at your photo but i can't.
imaging we're together be4.
and end up with this sad story.
i know you never come back.
but the hope still there.
for me and you.
still loving you,
hugs kisses, your m a